I always tryin' to be a good one.
I always want to be an independent.
I always want everything alright.

but,
once I think I'm selfish
I think I'm too perfectionist
I think I'm too ambitious

then,
I only want everything goes normal
I want everything going to be alright

When I'm in pain, I never stop say to God how bless I was when I'm painless. How bless I am to have a fine and normal life just like I used to. 

Living an Urban Life. Would you?

Yesterday, I spent a day hanged out with my elementary friend, Nunik. We went to 'Museum MACAN', the current viral temporary art show in West Jakarta. Nunik is currently live in Bandung, she majoring Business School in Institut Teknologi Bandung (ITB). We went to the venue by commuter line, heading to Palmerah station, then picked up by Grab Car to heading to the venue. It costed IDR 40k for student and IDR 50k for adults. It a bit pricey for me, but it still okay to enjoy the shows. We spent almost three hours in the gallery. Took some pictures, had a talk about the paint, and all random things. We didn't met each other for a long year, so we had so much things to talked.

Right after enjoyed the gallery, we walked the way to found out a restaurant for eat. We didn't have lunch yet, and it almost (or maybe more) 4.00 pm. Finally we found A&W! Thanks for staying there A&W. We had more chit and chat during ate our late lunch. She told much story about travelling, the tips and tricks to realizing your travelling plan, and so on, until she told about her best buddies. We prepared to gave a surprise by came to another friend of us office in South Jakarta. Then we decided to walked away from A&W to found the nearest TransJakarta shelter. Yeay, randomly we choose TransJakarta to went back (and also because our friend office's easier to reach by TransJakarta). 

As I knew (on the past), TransJakarta have 'own way' or called bus-way. And as I updated from the news, other transportation are forbidden to pass this way. We checked the google maps right before took the bus, and the apps said we will had 4 hours driving, by bus, which is a mass transportation. What the hell is going on. But I thought that was okay since West to South Jakarta was quite far. Then after we were on the last bus transit, which means we were getting closer to our destination, shitty thing like 'a very hectic traffic jam' came to us. We were in the bus, TransJakarta, which is a mass transportation that supposed to had a private ways, but since there were a LRT construction, was a messed. Like in one hour we only passed 2-3 kilometers. In one hour! It was suck. Nunik and me are a train person, even the train is full but we could arrived on our destination right away. Faster. I do really love commuter because I used it almost everyday in my life. 

The 'in the bus with traffic jam' situation made us talked about our future, future when we were lived our own life, with our own willingness, our priority, our own family, etc. We were not really want to lived and spent our life in a city. Seeing urban life was so suck and hard to be understood. Why people can spend too much time, stuck in a traffic jam without doing nothing like they have more than 24 hours in a day? How can they do that continuously everyday, from Monday to Friday? I really appreciate that whole people living their life, but I can't imagine mine. Isn't life in city that hard? Since I wasn't know what I would to be (even until now I still did not), I never really want to live in a big city, capital city, or something like that. More city in Indonesia. Doesn't mean I wasn't like to live in Indonesia, but I think there's another place to lived in besides metropolitan city. If I have to choose, I will choose to live in rural area, which had  a fresh air to breath everyday, bird-songs every morning, and everything that made my me and my future family start the day with calm. Who didn't want to lived that life? 

And, me and Nunik have a same dream about our future. We will have a Jeep and have a family road trip very soon. Aaah. Live is simple when you lived it simply. Doesn't mean I don't want to be a reach person, I really want. and I want a physic and inner wealth. I want to have a lot of money, but I also want my money used to good things and useful for everyone who need it. I want to live happily with other one happiness. Like I thought that life is simple when you live it simply. 

I don't hate someone who want to live in a big city, and they comfort with urban life, like match! But maybe our dream and priority are so damn different ;). Wherever we stay at, we have to be useful to everyone and never forget to be happy and happy!

Baduy

Ini merupakan pengalaman pertama gue ke Suku Baduy Luar, di Banten. Seneng banget bisa dapet kesempatan ke Suku Baduy. Suku Baduy masih sangat tradisional, dan masih cukup tertutup sama orang-orang, dan yang paling gue seneng adalah mereka bener-bener menjaga hutan dan pertanian. Walaupun cuma beda gerbang sama masyarakat biasa, mereka nggak terpengruh sama masyarakat luar Baduy. Intinya mereka masih sangat menjaga budaya dan alamnya. Gue di Baduy cuma hitungan jam. Nggak nginep, berangkat dini hari, siangnya udah pulang lagi. Selama beberapa jam disini gue ngerasain jalan kaki yang lamaaa banget. Di Suku Baduy bener-bener ngga ada kendaraan (lupa sih kalo sepedah ada atau ngga). Like literally jalan kaki, nanjak, turunan, licin, jembatan goyang dari bambu. Menurut gue jembatan goyang yang dari bambu itu keren banget dari segi infrastruktur masyarakat adat yang notabennya cukup tertutup dengan dunia luar.

Sudah banyak produk-produk lokal Indonesia yang masuk ke kawasan Baduy Luar. Banyak juga dari masyarakatnya yang membuka usaha warung untuk meningkatkan perekonomiannya. Tapi tetap, kendaraan dan barang elektronik masih jarang atau bahkan nggak ada disana. Gue sangat menghargai gaya hidup mereka yang masih sangat menjaga adat istiadat dari nenek moyang mereka. Dan berterima kasih juga sama mereka karena masih menjaga utuh hutannya dan memanfaatkannya secara lestari.

2018

So, yea 2018 had come six days ago. I'm living the 2 0 1 8 for six days already. Gue udah melewati 6 hari pertama di 2018 dengan UAS. UAS ganjil di kampus gue emang selalu di awal tahun. Tapi menurut gue itu hal yang biasa aja sih karena udah dua tahun belakangan ini, gue dan keluarga gue merasa nggak perlu merayakannya. What I want to share about this year is, tahun ini bakalan menjadi tahun yang 'berat' buat gue (secara pribadi). Kenapa?

Tahun ini gue akan menjalani hidup sebagai mahasiswa semester 6 dan semester 7. Which is going to be the last year to having 'normal' classes. (InshaAllah kalo kredit semester udah cukup, semester 8 tinggal menyusun skripsi lalu wisuda, InshaAllah). Walaupun gue sadar kalo kredit semester gue masih kurang banyak banget karena ada mata kuliah yang belom gue ambil. Kenapa? Karena semester kemaren IP gue kurang buat ambil full kredit. Semoga hasil dari semester ini cukup buat ambil full kredit. Kenapa bisa kurang IP-nya? Bukan karena sibuk di organisasi atau  punya prestasi lain di luar kampus. But simply because I was wrong to took priority. Other side, ada pengalaman-pengalaman baru yang gue dapetin saat IP gue jatoh. Di akhir 2017 kemaren gue dapet kesempatan buat jadi fasilitator di 'Bogor Leader Conference 2017' yang diselenggarakan oleh AIESEC in IPB. Disana gue dapet session life changing experience dimana gue menceritakan pengalaman gue setelah ikut Global Voluteer di Malaysia pas tahun 2016. Momen itu pertama kali banet gue jadi pembicara di event AIESEC dan audiences-nya ada Exchange Participant dari Belanda, India, Mexico, dan Vietnam. Jujur, gue seneng banet sih bisa dapet pengalaman kayak gitu. Bisa shared ke orang-orang yang mau jadi volunteer tentang pengalaman yang mengubah sudut pandang gue tentang kehidupan. Ya walaupun gue merasa penyampaian gue masih kurang bagus, tapi ya gue belajar untuk lebih berani ngomong di depan publik. 

Tahun 2018 akan gue jadikan sebagai tahun aktualisasi diri, dimana gue harus mengusahakan dan (InshaAllah) merealisasikan apa yang gue inginkan. And I won't stop dreaming and imaging something I like karena perlahan Allah akan kasih cara dan jalan yang ngga bakal disangka-sangka untuk jadi kenyataan. Tapi tetep ya harus ada usahanya. At least, gue udah megusahakan hal itu kalaupun nanti belum berhasil, ya setidaknya udah mencoba. Mau berenti males, berenti omdo, berenti ninggalin/kabur dari tanggung jawab, berenti menyesal. Lebih selektif milih kegiatan dan selalu ingat pengalaman nggak bisa keulang dua kali, jadi gak bakalan bisa keulang momen yang bener-bener sama untuk kedua kalinya. InshaAllah kalau memang niatnya baik dari hati, rezeki selalu ada. Bismillah, semoga impian di 018 bisa diusahakan dan tercapai, aamiin.