admiring to...

Since I don't how it starts,
I always admiring someone (a boy), that I know it wouldn't be good if I told him so
I enjoyed days on how I admired him a lot, until my feeling stops and was just usual
I always found a way how to met him, saw him, and simply being happy, and also blessed
And my typical man that I admired, sometimes in a similar style and value
Oh, how I love a man who had value in his life
What should I do when I am so deeply admiring someone,
that I didn't really know, but I want to.
How can it start? How will? and when?
I know that we are going to separate apart soon.
But, can I wish we'll meet someday?
as a person that truly loving each other
dear you, younger man.
someone that I stalked his instagram to, in my free time.
this would be like a teenager who fall in love
but I think I want to put in your name, in every pray I do.