from #selfshaming to #selflove

There are a lot of cases happened because of 'body shaming' issue. Those words are commonly happening today. Not just small cases but also turn into serious case. Why do it happen nowadays? Why do people easily going mad today? And why do people do things that not need to do? Lets thinking about it. This era, all people mostly do thing by online, or something virtual. We don't need to meet each other in real, all we do is using video call or else. We type freely in our social media, literally anything. We also ever did telling ourselves, our body, our privacy to public and turns out, people know everything about us. 

As I seen lately, yang memicu orang lain melakukan 'body shaming' ke diri kita adalah karena sebelumnya kita lebih dulu me-'body shaming' diri kita sendiri. Well, body shaming not just for whom who has curve body, dark skin, and small-large nose, tapi juga kebalikannya. Intinya, people who did body shaming itu orang-orang yang mencari kekurangan orang dari sejuta kelebihannya. Mungkin tanpa sadar kita sering melakukan 'self-shaming' terhadap diri kita sendiri. Di depan kaca bilang 'ih pipi gue gede banget', 'buset dah perut gue gendut banget', 'pahaaa apa paha ni gede banget', 'lengen gueeee......(bergelambir)', ya itu contoh beberapa kalimat yang mungkin tiap ngaca keluar dari mulut gue. Terus, jadi minder dan kurang percaya diri buat dress up, pakai baju warnanya gelap terus buat nutupin lemak-lemak, and more tricks buat nutupin 'kelebihan' kita. Ribet ya. Ini yang terjadi sama gue setiap mau beraktifitas. Belum lagi sama omongan orang-orang pas ketemu,, bercandanya, kata pertama saat mereka ketemu gue, ya nggak bakal jauh-jauh dari kata gendut, gembul, dan yang berhubungan dengan badan besar lainnya. Honestly, gue cuek banget sama hal-hal kayak gitu. Meskipun sebelumnya ribet milih baju buat nutupin lemak, tapi deep inside my heart, jarang banget sakit hati pas orang melakukan 'body shaming' terhadap badan gue. Gue selalu bales dengan kata-kata 'ya emang gini', 'emaaanggg (terus ketawa)', 'kalo kurus gue banyak yang suka', 'ya mau gimana lagi ya emang begini bentuknya', tergantung mood aja sih jawabnya, nada dan intonasinya juga tergantung mood. 

Setelah gue pikir-pikir, kenapa gue jarang sakit hati atau marah kalo dibilang gendut, dsb, ya simply karena memang gue gendut, hobi gue masak dan makan, dan diet cuma omdo belaka. Dan, gue melakukan shaming terhadap diri gue sendiri sebelum orang lain melakukannya. So, I think the hardest thing is not against people who did shaming yourself, but the more is against yourself to not did shaming yours. Like stop saying bad words and negative think to yourself in front of mirror, and accept yourself as you are. Don't need to be ideal for public, friends or enemy. Just be the most ideal to yourself first. Sama seperti kata-kata di atas yang gue tulis, "nggak ada salahnya pake baju ukuran XL, XXL or even XXXL; punya pinggul lebar, bokong besar, pipi besar; sesimple karena badan gue bukan urusan orang lain. Even when someday I do any diet, want to get weight loss, it because I want to love myself not for being ideal as people wants. Or even I do sports, it is because I want my body being healthy and fresh, not because I want people see I survive to be skinnier. Just do what makes you happy and be confident. 

xoxo

how i see people change

banyak orang yang berubah. cara hidupnya, cara berpikirnya, perilakunya, dan keberaniannya. banyak orang berubah ke hal yang hanya mengutamakan logika dan rasionalitas, daripada adab dan aturan. banyak orang yang bersikap denial terhadap kebenaran pemikiran sebelumnya, (mungkin) hanya mengedepankan logika dibawah nama 'hak asasi manusia', 'kebebasan berpendapat', 'hidupuku bukan hidupmu', 'jangan mengatur urusan orang lain', 'mind your own business'. instead, as human we are socially social creature. banyak orang yang gampang banget tersinggung kalo bahas tentang agama atau ideologi atau apalah namanya itu. terutama urusan agama sih. mungkin sebagian orang banyak yang risih kalo diingetin solat, diingetin ngaji, diingetin untuk berhijab, dan lain-lain. i'm pretty sure that things are belongs between you and God, but it is not going to be wrong when people remind you about that thing, you should be thanked for it. i am saying that not to show that I am right, it just simply my opinion and how I be thank-full when people around me did that things. but i see this issue going to be a sensitive issue and being a political click bait. 

balik lagi ke perubahan orang-orang disekitar yang gue liat. they know the right thing but they do a denial into their own mind because most of people didn't. andai kehidupan semudah kita ikutin aturan agama kita, rasanya semua benar. andai keyakinan bukan hanya sekedar tertera di ktp tapi diaplikasikan benar-benar ke kehidupan sehari-hari. andai, andai dan andai lainnya. 

ps: i do still have denial through things, but I always trying to be honest to myself.